Hollywood loves a reboot. Why create something new when you can just take an older, popular series and update it? Recently we’ve seen new versions of Hawaii 5-O, Magnum P.I., One Day At A Time, MacGuyver, and more. There’s even a new Twilight Zone is on its way.
Some say this shows that Hollywood lacks originality, but revisiting a classic series with better production values, updated for modern audiences, can be a hit. So I’d like to propose resurrecting the following TV series, but updated for Trump’s America:
Take the classic sitcom Hogan’s Heroes, but instead of outsmarting bumbling Nazis in a German prisoner of war camp, the new version features Hector, a 14 year old Mexican boy, and a band of spunky kids in Trump’s detention camps. Each week the gang outsmart the border guards, contractors, and social workers at their child detention camp on the Mexico border. Hector’s gang is a smart and talented group of kids from several south of the border countries who cleverly undermine the efforts of their “protectors” every episode.
The goofy 60’s sitcom about an inept U.S. Calvary troop gets and update! Instead of facing Indians on the frontier, the new F-Troop is the story of a post on the US border… the NORTHERN one! These bumbling Border Patrol Agents are charged with trying to stop US citizens fleeing to Canada to escaping oppression, get free healthcare, but mostly to get legal marijuana.
Welcome Back, Barbarino
Not a reboot, a sequel. Former student Vinnie Barbarino (John Travolta) returns to his alma mater, not as a teacher, but as an armed Safety Officer. He thinks it’s going to be an easy job hanging with the new generation of Sweathogs, but he soon finds the school in lockdown and he’s their only defense against an active shooter in school. Each episode unfolds in real time -think “Welcome Back Kotter” meets “24”. (Ok, that sounds a bit forced, but this whole series could have been avoided if we just had common-sense gun laws and stronger background checks.)
The President answers a series of questions only to be confronted by not-very-secret video of himself saying the exact opposite at a public event just a few months prior. He’ll cry “Fake News” but there’s no denying when “Trump’s On Not-Very Candid Camera!” (We expect this show to have an endless supply of clips).
The (Outsourced) Apprentice
An update for the new world order: “The Outsource Apprentice.” Each week a group of contestants from Mexico, India, China, and the Philippines compete for a chance to get an outsourced job. At the end of each episode the host surprises and an American worker by announcing “You’re Fired!” and their job is given to this week’s overseas winner.
(This is a parody article, no such programs are actually coming out. However if you are a television producer or development executive, let’s talk!)